Procrastinating Resolutions

I waited until January 2nd to set my resolutions. By set I mean vaguely thought of some things I would like to improve on over this year. I know how to set goals, I know the techniques to walk your way through the baby steps so that you can actually be successful. I also have four kids, and I homeschool them, and I am trying to build a business to help other moms who feel like they are failing, JUST like me. These things make goal setting and follow through almost laughable.

I have a lot going on and I like it that way. I feel most successful when I am productive, engaged in life and connected to other people. I am also a helper. If I am available and you are in need I want to help you. I like to be someone others can lean on. I am strong enough for that. My god given talent is that I am strong, I can handle it. The dirty, the ugly, the messy, the hard and the heavy. Lay it on me because I am your girl.

This brings us to why I needed to set some resolutions for myself. I get overwhelmed and bogged down in responsibility. Sometimes I feel dark and gloomy on the inside. I know how to be strong for myself, but it isn't a sustainable way to live. I am still learning how to ask for help. After adding a fourth baby I was overwhelmed with just the daily responsibilities that keep us alive, like grocery shopping, cooking, and paying bills. Notice I didn't include laundry, yea, thats because no one died from dirty clothes. It is eating easier as she gets older, but four kids is just hard.

I also have the added stress of a developmentally delayed child.

My three year old was born with an extremely rare genetic condition. So rare that no other known person has it and it doesn't have a name. Thankfully the effects are mild compared to what some other families have experienced when it comes to genetics. But it is still stressful. All the unknowns and the appointments, the insurance and medical costs. It adds up to a big mess for any mama.

So over the last two years, my health has been on the back burner. I thought I actually deserved to "suffer" this stressful life. After all it was my decision to become a mother and to have four children, but what I didn't consider was that others have been here before. I don't have to go it alone. And most importantly by sharing my experience with other moms I have come to see my situation in a different light.

So my resolution, KEEP IT SIMPLE. I decided to go back to my old fitness group and begin working out at 5:15 3 times a week. Crazy, I know. But this was how I was keeping it simple. I knew I needed one big thing to get the success ball rolling. And if getting up at the crack (ok, before the crack) of dawn to nurse a baby and then put on skin tight pants in the cold wasn't it then I don't know what was. This one simple act was what pushed me. It showed my mental, emotional and physical strength. Doing this proved I could do anything!

Knowing what we should do and actually doing it are two very different things. I had to go big so that my range of vision could be widened. Looking at my life from 5 am has given me new perspective. I believe I will make it. And You Can Too!

*** Over the last few years I have been gathering experience, collecting information, and using my struggles and situation to prepare for how I will be useful to other moms. IF you are struggling through life. Please know you are not alone and find someone to reach out to!